– you drink beer from a longneck bottle because your doctor told you to distance yourself from alcohol.
– You swear well
– you think St. Patrick’s Day is THE major holiday of the year.
– you believe God created Ireland and the rest happened by accident.
– You know what hurling is (and it’s not puking!)
– you think a hangover is just the morning blues.
– The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get
– you think water is only for fish — and bathing (occasionally)
– you think all beautiful women are Irish.
– you think the Celtics are a ceilidh band.
– you think the restroom is a place to sleep.
– You are oddly poetic after a few beers
– you think lite beer is a punishment.
– you think whiskey punch is a sporting event at the pub.
– you think a deaf and dumb, tall, statuesque sex goddess that owns a brewery is the perfect mate.
– you think a liquid diet is to consume nothing but beer.
– you think English is a foreign language.
– you think England is the place your condemned to if you’re bad.
– you think Dublin is the world capital.
– you think the two-step dance is a result of eating Mexican food.
– you see leprecauns after the pub closes — always twins.
– the guard says “How many fingers am I holding up?” and you say “All of ’em.”
– you think God gave the Irish whisky to keep them from taking over the world.
– you do the total opposite to what the doctor told you
– your freckles outnumber the days in the year
– it’s ok to live with your parents until your at least 35
– you have no idea how to make a long story short
– you understand what someone means when they say come over at half 8, it actually means half 9