– You can’t go more that five days without rice.
– You don’t have matching bedding.
– You don’t have matching dishes.
– You don’t have matching hangers in your closet.
– At least one person in your family owns or knows how to use a sewing machine.
– You never really bought a calendar in your life; you always got the free ones with movies stars or nature scenes from grocery stores.
– You’ve been to 99 Ranch Market at least once in your life.
– You’re amused when Americans think Chinese fast food is good.
– You dilute your dishwasher soap with water when your running out so it’ll last a little longer.
– You feel awkward when someone asks you to leave your shoes on in their house.
– If you have a dog, you feed it left over rice with some food instead of real dog food.
– You have newspapers covering your kitchen table to keep it clean.
– You collect and recycle for the extra money.
– You’ll spend for name brand clothes but keep condiments from fast food places.
– You have instant noodles in your house.
– You’ve had at least one hair cut from your mom or dad.
– You don’t really own a mop, you just use a old t-shirt instead.
– You have owned the same vacuum cleaner longer than 5 years.
– You eat spaghetti at home with chopsticks
– Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
– Your dad is some sort of engineer.
– Your parents have tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
– You ask your parents help on one math problem and two hours later they’re still lecturing.
– You have a 40lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
– You’ve had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
– Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends’ kids.
– Your parents say, “Don’t forget your heritage.”
– You drive mostly Japanese cars.
– You’ve learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
– You’ve had to eat parts of animals they don’t even put in hot dogs.
– At least once, you’ve started a joke with “Confucius say. . . ”
– You know what bok choy is.
– You’ve ever gotten little red envelopes around February.
– Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
– Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
– Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, “In China, we studied even more.”
– Your parents expect you’ll be best friends with anyone off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.
– An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: “Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?”
– Your relatives’ houses smell like incense, mothballs or both.
– Your parents say, “Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!” . Everyone thinks you’re good at math.
– Your parents insist you marry within your race.
– Your parents have never kissed you.
– Your parents have never kissed each other.
– You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
– “You want a stereo!” When I was your age, I didn’t even have shoes!!”
– People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.
– You have to call just about all your parent’s friends “Auntie and Uncle.”
– At expensive restaurants, you order a glass of water for your beverage a never order dessert.
– Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say “Eat it anyway. It’s still good.”
– The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
– You are taller than your parents.