What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw
His child drew a horse.
The artist asked, “You drew the horse wrongly.”
The child replied, “How did I draw it wrongly?”
A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed an
A man buys a lie-detecting robot that slaps people every time they tell a lie…
Dad: What were you watching?
Son: Kung-Fu Panda
*robot slaps son*
— Go bring me a beer and I’ll tell you.
— But mommy said you should stop drinking!
— Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.
— Oh, okay!
He told the two women you can do anything you want here in heaven but please do not step on a duck because they make a terrible noise and racket.
The two women agreed and entered heaven. One day,
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it…
I asked him “Why are you eating grass?”
He said “I am very hungry”
I replied “Oh, okay then. Come with me.”
You should’ve seen his face when I showed him my backyard.
A guy just finishes his lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery…
The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge “This means that I cannot call
My next-door neighbor is an inconsiderate asshole. He knocked on my door at 3 AM last night!! 3 AM!!
Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
Vegans have been screwing us over from the very beginning. If Eve had eaten the snake and not the fruit we wouldn’t be in this mess.
A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?” No one wants to say ‘yes’, but they’re on the spot…
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