An Arab student emails his dad:
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party, he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two crocodiles in it.
After having their 11th child, a redneck couple decided that was enough…
…as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.
A man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50.
Standing next to the cage the man asks, “I wonder why he is so cheap?” “Because I am defective,” came the reply. “I’ve got no legs.” A little surprised the man asked, “Well how do you stay on your perch?” The parrot draws him closer and whispers, “I have a big penis. I just wrap it around the bar and stay put…
A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice: “NO! I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started looking at the guy; he was pretty embarrassed. After a while, the girl walked quietly over to the
A Canadian man, an American man, a Japanese man, and a Middle Eastern man walk into a bar. They all have a couple of beers and get to bragging. The American guy boasts, “I’m so lucky, I have 4 beautiful children, one more and I would have a basketball team.” Not to be outdone…
A mom takes her daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says, “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”
An employee sees his boss arrive at work one day in a brand new Lamborghini.
The employee goes out to the car park and says to his boss “Wow that’s an amazing car! I wish I had one just like it, that must have cost you a pretty penny!”
An Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bakery.
The Englishman steals 3 buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman, "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn't even see me."
So the Pope arrives at heavens gates.
St. Peter awaits him. St. Peter asks who he is.
An Asian man goes on a trip to America
He goes to an American Bank to converts his money to dollars, while going through his trip he meets a generous old friend who decides to let him stay in his place and also pay for his expenses during his stay.
A depressed man walks into a library
Depressed man: do you have any books on suicide?
When I was about 9 years old, my father forced me to go with him to the funeral of a friend of his, that I didn't know.
When we got there, I stayed in a corner, waiting for time to pass by. Then a man approached me and said, "Enjoy life boy, be happy because time flies. Look at me now… I didn't enjoy it." He then passed his hand over my head and left.
A blonde was speeding in a school zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde’s driver’s license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, “What does a driver’s license look like?” Irritated, the blonde cop said…
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
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