On the Bus
A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle…
So she says to her baby
FunnyGuy
Lengthy but Brilliant
A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.
The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”.
Farmer’s Daughters are on Dates
There once was a farmer whose five quintuplet teenage daughters were going on dates at the same time.
“As soon as your dates arrive,” said the farmer, “I will talk to them personally. If I don’t like them, I will shoot them.”
I Was Just Having a Quiet Pint
I was just having a quiet pint by myself in a half-empty pub when some guy comes over.
“Would you mind moving, that’s my seat.”
Seeing as though I’d been there an hour, and there was plenty of other empty seats, I politely refused.
Jokes to your email!
They Don’t Comment Their Code
Real programmers don’t comment their code! Because if it was hard to write then it must be hard to read
Two Sisters…
One blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.
A butcher is at work…
A butcher is at work, chopping up some meat when he hears the door open.
He walks to the door and sees a golden retriever with a note in its mouth. The butcher, amused, grabs the note and reads it. The note says, “I’ll take a dozen sausage links. Keep the change.” The butcher scoffs and is about to throw the note away until he takes another…
A man enters an animal shop
A man enters an animal shop and sees a parrot with ropes tied to each of its legs…
The man asks the shopkeeper about the parrot and the shopkeeper replies:
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Teacher & Johnny
Teacher: “If I’ll give you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
A Jewish Joke.
A mother brings her son two new ties as a birthday gift for her adult son. Later, in the evening the two meet for dinner and the son is wearing one of the ties. His mother takes one look at him and says, “You didn’t like the other tie?”
Destitute & Rejected by Her Lover…
A young lady, destitute and rejected by her lover, heads to the Manhattan docks to drown herself.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
Once, in the forest…
Once, in the forest, a sapling grew between two trees…
One tree was a birch tree, and proudly said, “That sapling is a son of a birch!”
A Woman Rings at Neighbor’s Door
A woman rings at the neighbor’s door. A man opens the door.
Woman: “Hey, I just moved in, and I am just applying wallpaper in the kitchen. I just saw yesterday that you freshly papered you kitchen as well, and I thought you may be able to help me out. How many stacks of paper did you buy to do the job?”
A Voodoo Doll
My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”
Sounding concerned I replied “No…”
A Blonde Goes to Buy a TV
A blonde goes to buy a TV and asks for the manager at the electronics store
She asks “How much is that TV?”
The Most Beautiful Garden
A lady is walking to the store when the sees the most beautiful garden shes ever seen…
She askes the man watering his garden
