FunnyGuy
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Suddenly a Genie Appears…
An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom…
Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.
The Meatballs
There is a man who goes to a spanish restaurant after a big bullfight. He sits down and looks at the menu. The waiter then comes over and asks what he will have. The man once again looks down at the menu and spots “meatballs de toro”…
The Redhead
A gorgeous young redhead went into the doctor’s office.
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
The Two Statues
Two statues, one female and the other male, had faced each other in a city park for decades. One day an angel appeared and said…
… “you’ve been such fantastic statues for such a long time, that I have a special gift for you. I am going to bring you to life for 30 minutes and you can do whatever you wish”. With a clap of his hands the statues came alive.
Three Guys Go to Heaven
St Peter at the gate greets them and says ‘Alright. We’ve just built some new roads up here and we need to get you each a car. Depending on how faithful you were to your wives will determine the quality of the car. Sound good?’ 1st Guy: ‘I was happily married thirty years with my wife and never cheated on her once. She passed a few years ago but I still remained faithful’ St Peter: ‘That’s wonderful. Here’s a brand new Rolls Royce. Top of the line’ 2nd Guy…
At a Restaurant
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.
His wife asks, “Do you know her?”
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When I Was
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time, and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25…
