Everybody Must Laugh
The lion, king of the jungle, was very bored.
The lion, king of the jungle, was very bored. He gathered all the animals of his kingdom and said:
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A Lost Dog
A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution “This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before”.
So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he’s about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly “mmm… that was some good lion meat!”.
The Priest
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”
“Of course child. What may I do for you?”
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Best Friends
A horse and a pig are best friends.
One day the horse got so sick that he couldn’t stand up anymore. The farmer called the vet who said: “If this horse doesn’t stand up in three days, you may put him down”.
A Woman’s Brain Costs Less
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. ‘Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant.
This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.’
The Note
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch…
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: “Take only one. God is watching.”
Will Be Remembered
Some people are flying on a plane and the captain makes an announcement
“We are going to, unfortunately, run out of fuel in a little bit. We need some volunteers to jump off the plane so we can maybe hope to make it to an airport.”
On A Farm Out In The Country
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three adult sons…
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto the pasture, she saw that the family’s only cow was lying dead in the field.
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An Extremely Unusual Funeral
A man and a Dog, and the extremely unusual funeral…
A man and his wife are walking down the town main street. They are arguing, as they always do, about the efficiency of wearing masks during the pandemic.
Porsche VS Moped
An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.
Looking at the shiny car, the old man asks the doctor “What is ya driving there sonny?
Teacher Is Asking To See You…
A young boy says to his father “Dad, our maths teacher is asking to see you.”
“What happened?” The father asks.
Magic Pool
A Frenchman, a German and an English man are standing before the gates of heaven.
God greets them and says: “You were all great and kind people. As a reward for being a good human, you may all swim in my magic pool” “The water will turn in anything you say”
A Fox Is Chasing A Chicken…
A fox is chasing a chicken…
Suddenly the chicken trips over a vase, that was just laying on the ground. The vase breaks and a genie pops out and says: “You two freed me from my prison, I will grant you both 3 wishes as a reward!”
A Religious Joke
God, one day in heaven, lined up all of the married couples in the world and heaven he could find. He said to the men,
“My children, I have a task for you all. Those of you who feel that you are the head of the household, step to the left. Those of you who think your wife is the head of the household, step to the right.”
A Russian Joke
One day a Soviet Party member is walking through the Red square when he hears a man shout:
“down with the tyrant with the mustache.”
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Inheritor
My friend Dave was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.
Dave wanted two things:
