It Doesn’t Really Matter
A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.
Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
FunnyGuy
In The Barbershop
An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He asks the barber, “do you think you can get all my whiskers off? My cheeks are so wrinkled from age”.
About What?
A French Man was Teaching his English Girlfriend to Swim
After the third lesson, the man said to his girlfriend, “Ok, you’ve now learnt enough. I’ll let you swim on your own”
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Two Virgins Got Married
Two virgins get married and go on their honeymoon.
Unfortunately, neither of them knows what to do so they call the groom’s mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit together on the bed, kiss and snuggle, and things should happen from there.
A Couple Goes To A Sex Therapist
A couple goes to a sex therapist.
The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”
RENT FOR APARTMENT
A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500.
So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR APARTMENT.”
New Technology
One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”
His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you’re having. It only costs $20.00.”
Something Good
In class, a teacher asked her students what was something good that they did today.
The first kid says “I gave money to a homeless man”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Just Beyond The Gates Of Hell
Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors.
There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method of getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. If he does so, he will be allowed to enter Heaven. The catch? At the end of the 1,000 year period, if the man asks to be let out of the room, he instead will be trapped inside forever.
Catholic Women’s’ Sons
Four catholic ladies are talking about how important their sons are.
The first one tells her friends “my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father.'”
An Elevator
A fifteen years old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
Two Priests
Two Priests decided to go to Goa on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests……
As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
3 Spies Are Captured One Day
A French, a German and an Italian spy are captured one day.
The captors grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair. They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.
Do I Look Like…?
A wife is tired of all the problems that need fixing in her house.
She asks her husband, “Can you please fix the leak in the bathroom? “, the husband says “Do I look like a plumber?”
An 18 Years Old Girl…
An 18 years old girl tells her mom that she has missed her last 2 periods.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy test. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Crying, cursing and Shouting the mother says, “Who was the bastard that did this to you? I want to know!”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Terrible Headaches…
A guy is constantly suffering from terrible headaches. He goes to a bunch of doctors, runs any test imaginable, and no one can figure out why. One day a doctor tells him- “I think we figured out a solution, but you’re not going to like it. If we cut off your balls, the constant headache will stop”. The guy was shocked, but he didn’t want to continue the torture, so he agreed.
