A Man Walks Into A Bar And Orders
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey. Then one more and so on. The bartender asks,
“Why are you drinking so much?”
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey. Then one more and so on. The bartender asks,
“Why are you drinking so much?”
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.
My granddad used to say, “As one door closes another one opens.”
Lovely man. Terrible cabinet maker.
Two friends are speaking,
“Hitler really loved animals.”
What’s the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex.
My girlfriend insists it’s for dyslexia.
This guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers.
The bartender says, “I’ll have to charge you extra, that’s a root beer float”.
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you always procrastinate.”
I said, “Oh yeah… Just you wait.”
When I was a kid, I made a really big sandcastle with my grandma.
Unfortunately, that didn’t impress anyone at the cremation…
Four engineers get into a car. The car won’t start.
The Mechanical engineer says “It’s a broken starter”.
A blond is talking to her boyfriend,
“Did you know, that 99.9% of the people are dumb!”
They have sunglasses and white sticks.
As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.
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