The United States was deployed to Afghanistan. While the Marine was there he received a “dear John” letter from his girlfriend.
In the letter she explained she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.
A small boy talking to his mother while his dad sits nearby.
Boy: Mom, I want to marry 3 girls when I grow up.
I recently visited my grandfather in his old folks home…
We sat down at a table in the cafeteria and started to chat. He said things were going okay but sounded a little frustrated.
My wife left me for another man.
All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seems the only way out. And while he’s going through all that, I’ll be in the pub with my mates every night.
A Soviet officer and an American officer are talking over coffee at the end of World War II to celebrate their collaboration in the defeat of the Nazis. They start to banter and brag with each other.
An old lady wanted to withdraw money from a bank.
This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said: “I would like to withdraw £10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than £100, please use the ATM.
There was a man named Temel who lived in a village near the black sea.
He was a hunter, one of the best. They said if there were a rabbit he would lay down and shoot and hit the animal immediately.
An international school teacher asks: “What’s your own honest opinion on food scarcity in other countries?”
An African student responds: What’s ‘food’?
Two soldiers are walking through the jungle.
One of them yells out: “Ahhhhh!”. The other soldier turns to him and says: “What happened?!” as he sees a venomous snake leave the area.
A man once wanted to sell his horse for 1000$.
He went door to door to ask people if they would buy his horse. Only one person named George was willing to but it, but for only 500$. The man went home in despair.
A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital
She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I can, what’s the name and room number?”
There was a man who took very good care of his body. Every day he lifted weights and jogged 6 miles.
One day, he looked in the mirror and noticed that he was tanned all over, apart from on his ‘thing’.
Once all the females of the jungle went to the Lion, king of the Jungle.
They complained that the males always keep having sex with them and wouldn’t let them take rest.
I went to the hospital to visit my friend who had an accident.
While waiting in the waiting room, I felt hungry so bought some juice and 2 burgers from the cafeteria.
Fanny jokes and images directly to your inbox.
Daily Jokes to your inbox!
