Birthday Party
Birthday Party During Lockdown
FunnyGuy
A German In A Bar
A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks:
“Dry?”
Happy Marriage
A man and a woman had been married for more than 50 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had no secrets from each other except a box that the woman kept at the top of her closet. She had cautioned her husband never to open the box or ask about it.
Prayers
Teacher: Now, Jack, tell me, my boy, do you say prayers before eating?
Jack: No ma’am, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
Jokes to your email!
The Truth
I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report card. I did this every quarter that year. I forgot that they mail home the end-of-year cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake.
First Date
In my junior years, this guy asked me on a date.
He rented a Redbox movie and made a turkey. We were watching a movie and the oven beeped so the turkey was done. He looked at me dead in the eye and said,
100 Things To Do Before You Die
100 Things To Do Before You Die
SUPPORT=FUNNY
The Man Without Fear
The Man Without Fear
The Day Before Christmas Eve
An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
A Job Opening
A guy goes into the US Postal Services to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”
Blonde Woman From
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets USD 20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says,
“I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.”
Listen Carefully…
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Wedding Anniversary
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.
The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife,
At The Pearly Gates
3 nuns die and go to Heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they’re quite easy.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
In The Shopping Mall
My small grandson got lost in the shopping mall…
He approached a uniformed security guard and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”
The Farmer
A farmer walks upstairs to his bedroom with a chicken under his arm and stands before his wife.
“This is the pig I’ve been fucking”
