One day a blonde decides that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
A girl’s boyfriend came to her house. The girl said to her mom,
“Mom, I’m going up to my room with my boyfriend.”
I’d like to thank my legs, for always supporting me;
my arms, who are always by my side,
Someone tells a blonde, “I like Eminem.”
The blonde says, “I like Skittles.”
It was a Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
One day my patient came and started to tell me how thankful she was to me. She announced she had good news and bad news.
“The medicine for my earache was very effective,” she said.
Three friends got married. One day they met and started to talk about their marriage.
The first one started, “I told my wife that I want the house to be clean and tidy when I come home from work. I didn’t see changes on the first day, but on the second day, the house was clean and tidy.”
On a Sunday morning in winter, the pastor slowly made his way to the rural church in the middle of a blizzard, arriving with just five minutes to spare.
He walked in, turned on the lights, and looked around. No one else was there.
A professor is about to give his final exam…
“You must turn in your paper before 2 P.M. I won’t take it a second later.”
All the students turn in their papers and the professor begins to walk to his office when the last student jumps up and approaches the professor, “I’m so sorry I’m a few seconds late! Take my paper, please!”
A very hot redhead goes to a doctor for an annual medical examination․
“Sit there ma’am, I’ll come to check your eyes in a few seconds.”
The IRS decides to audit an elderly man and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when the man showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said:
I’m a Russian woman, but I know Chinese and English very well. Looking at me you’ll never guess that I know Chinese.
The other day a Chinese couple came to my line and I asked them (in English) all the necessary questions.
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