A Time Machine
A man gets sent to kill Hitler with a time machine.
He enters inside the machine, gets cheered by his colleagues. Since the mission is very dangerous, he’s gonna be a national hero!
FunnyGuy
I’m Depressed
I’m depressed because the store just ran out of the thing I wanted to buy for Christmas.
It was antidepressant.
Will Be Ready In 5 Minutes
If a girl says she will be ready in 5 minutes it means that she’ll be ready.
There’s no need to remind her every 30 minutes about it.
Getting Acquainted
She: So what do you do?
He: I’m working on eliminating all cancers.
Jokes to your email!
That Moment When…
That Moment When…
In The Amazon Jungles
A man is flying a plane over the Amazon when he suddenly crashes…
But he is ok, don’t worry. He’s staggering through the jungle when he suddenly realizes he is surrounded by bloodthirsty savages. And he thinks, “Man, I’m totally fucked.”
Doorbell
It’s a couple of years since I moved out of state with my boyfriend.
I was excited about it but for a reason had anxiety about being so far from friends and family. One of the ways my anxiety was coming out was with nightmares and night terrors. I was waking up violently sitting up in a cold sweat, gasping, and whatnot.
Between Bites Of The Pickle
My four years old son stuck out his hand and said,
“Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Monday’s The Best Night
A couple takes in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire…
My Wife Started…
My wife started screaming, “You haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!”
What a weird way to start a conversation…
You Don’t Know
The teacher asks the student, “William if your father has 30 USD and you ask him for 10 USD, how much would your father still have?”
The student answers, “30 USD.”
Trying To Remember.
An old couple has their friends over for dinner one evening…
After the meal, men retire to the living room while the women remain at the table.
A Couple’s Life
A couple was living together for about five years.
One day the wife comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years?” The husband nodes, “they’re all gone.”
That Moment When…
That Moment When…
In A Dessert
A man was getting robbed in a desert.
He gave the robber his money and asked the robber to shoot a few bullets in his hat to make it believable to his wife that he was robbed.
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Guess Who Was
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
