A hunter, went on a camping trip with his wife, kids, and mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the forest, his wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of a drink, and started to look for her.
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
Two lawyers had been life long friends. They were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary.
One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter.
A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it and to return the next day to tell their stories.
In the classroom the next day, Sam gave his example first,
A young lawyer was defending a wealthy businessman in a complicated lawsuit. Unfortunately, the evidence was against his client, and he feared the worst. So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of cigars as a bribe. The partner was horrified.
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.
“May I help you?” she asked.
A farmer decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.
In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning the farmer, “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,'” asked the lawyer.
A group of psychiatrists was attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave and walked out together. One said to the others,
“People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.”
A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him 2.00 dollars. That continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to 1.50 dollars.
“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”
After spending some time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. He told God how much Eve means to him and how blessed he feels to have her and began to ask questions.
Adam, “Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?”
A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee…
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone,
A three years old child walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office. He inquisitively asked the lady,
“Why is your stomach so big?”
Saturday morning I got up early dressed quietly,… made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck,… and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress. Are chatting over lunch and the conversation turns to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men. All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, heels, and a mask over their eyes.
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