A Programmer’s Wish
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a magic lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears.
“I am the most powerful genie in the world. I grant you a wish, tell me what you want.”
FunnyGuy
High Prices
Jesus walks into a bar and says, “Can I have a glass of water?” Then he turns it into wine.
The bartender says “Jee what are you doing?”
One Sunday In Church
One Sunday in church the priest told the ladies,
“If you know you are a virgin then stand up.”
The Three Most Dangerous Things In The World
The three most dangerous things in the world
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Types Of Bras
A man walked into the ladies department of a store, walked up to the woman behind the counter, and said,
“I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”
Married Woman
A man married a woman who had been married five times.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled man. “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?”
“Well, my first husband was a sales specialist, he kept telling me how great it was going to be…
Think Of
A man is going to jump off the building. A good cop rushes up to talk him not to do that. Cop yells up to the man,
“Don’t jump! Think of your mother!”
18 Daughters
Three men went to Las Vegas and after losing their money at the blackjack tables, they decided to stay off the strip in a not so expensive hotel, and the guy that owned it had 18 daughters.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Then I’ll Go Home
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it, and then looks into his pocket. He does this for several times.
Finally, the bartender asked,
About Marriage
A guy talks with his friend about his marriage,
“It’s getting bad these days, my wife spends her evenings going around the bars of the city.”
Going To Be A Politician
A man and his wife are discussing what they think their son will be when he grows up.
“I have an idea,” says the father. He puts a dollar, a bottle of whiskey, and the Bible on the table. “If he takes the money, he’ll be a banker. If he takes the whiskey, he’ll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible, that means he’ll be a preacher.”
Camping In The Mountains
Two men were camping in the mountains, They spent four days together. One morning, one of them says,
“We’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Let’s split up today. I’ll hike north and you’ll hike south. Then we’ll have supper and share our experiences.”
You Got Married
A very handsome and tall man got married to a little woman. One day he was walking with his wife when he met one of his classmates.
“Oh, you got married to her? I’m surprised, You are such a big, burly guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny woman? She is no bigger than your hand.”
The Best Way To End An Argument
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said,
“You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.”
A Drunken Guy
A drunken guy was staggering along the road, throwing empty beer cans into the street. His singing gained the attention of a passing policeman who decided to question him.
“What do you think you’re doing there?” the policeman asked.
Like My Wife
A drunk man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seating in the bar, walked to her and kissed her.
She jumped up and slapped him. He immediately apologized and explained,
