Programmers’ Conversation
A: Hey, what are you doing?
B: Hi, I’m improving the app. I removed all the bad code from it.
FunnyGuy
In A Jungle Restaurant
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu
Tourist: $5 Broiled Missionary $15.00;
Doctors & Politics
An Israeli doctor says, “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.”
A German doctor says, “That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.”
Jokes to your email!
Osama Bin Laden Is Still Alive
After many rounds of, “We don’t know if Osama bin Laden is still alive”, Osama decided to send Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.
Bush opened the letter and it contained a line of coded message, “370H-SSV-0773H” Bush was puzzled, so he emailed it to Condoleezza Rice.
Blondes Are In An Elevator
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out.
They try using their cell phones to get help but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help, one of the blondes says to the others,
Complaining To The Doctor
A woman went to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.
The doctor puzzled said, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”
Have You Ever Seen
A man decided to paint the toilet seat while his wife is away.
That day the wife came home sooner than expected. She went to the toilet, sat, and got the seat stuck to her back part. She was understandably distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her to the doctor. She put on a large overcoat to cover the stuck seat and they went.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
On The Dentist’s Chair
A young lady went to her dentist. She sat on the dentist’s chair to get her tooth extracted. Seeing too many instruments she got frightened,
“Doctor, I would rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out.”
Warnings And Errors
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His wife nervously said,
“Don’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
A Drunken Man And Two Priests
A drunken man walked out of a bar and saw two priests.
“I’m Jesus Christ”, he said to one of them.
The Choice
Two missionaries get caught in Africa by a tribe of primitives. The chief of the tribe says
“We’ve captured you in our land! I shall give you a choice. ‘Death’ or ‘ugu’?”
Three Blondes
Three blondes were talking on a tall building in the city. After a while, one of them jumped, hit the floor, and died. Then the second blond jumped, hit the floor, and died. The third blond jumped next. She hit the floor but she didn’t die.
Smartest Dog
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed.
A Gay, A Robber, And A Drunk
One day there was a gay guy, a robber, and a drunk. They were living their life and one day the gay guy did his deed and poof… he is gone. Then the robber goes and robs a bank and poof… he’s gone. Then the drunk gets drunk at a bar and poof… he’s gone.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
A Sign On Beer
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After some time he wanted to go to the toilet. He doesn’t want someone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it,
“I spat in this beer, do not drink!”
Where Is Jesus
At a Catholic school, a teacher during the lesson asked his students,
“Now tell me, where is Jesus?
