Keep Calm
A man was walking with his grandson in the supermarket. The boy was yelling all the time, telling he wants this candy, that juice, a bubble gum… He was running through the market like crazy.
FunnyGuy
Taste The Food
A woman called the waiter to taste the soup that was served to her.
The waiter spoke frightened,
“Ma’am, we are not allowed to taste the food.”
For A Parking Spot
An atheist goes to a shopping mall.
And there is no parking spot, so he says “God, if you give me a parking spot, I will convert myself and become Christian”.
Jokes to your email!
And So The Man Was Naked
After a long night of drinking for a woman, this man took advantage by giving her a ride home.
After the walk to the door, the woman asked him in for a nightcap. One thing led to another and so the man was naked.
The Poor Elephant
There was a guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. As he couldn’t afford to feed it, he started a contest. He had never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. Entry for the contest was 10 dollars, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get 50,000 dollars.
A Golden Bar
A man walks into a bar. Everything in this bar is golden. After drinking so hard he stumbles into what he thinks is the toilet and there’s even a golden urinal.
The man goes home and tells his wife about this place and she isn’t convinced. So in the morning she phones the bar and says,
Cold Water
A young man went to his grandfather’s place to stay for the weekend. He was sitting down to lunch when he noticed that the spoons and forks were not so clean. He asked his grandfather,
“Are you sure you washed it properly?”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
A letter to God
Little Steward came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought it was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”
Anything For Another Round
One day a drunk man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a shot of rum and a beer. Then he asks for another. The bartender asks,
“Have you got money?”
“No,” tells the drunk man, “but I’m hurting so bad that I’ll do anything for another round…”
A Near-Death Experience
One day when a blond went horseback riding she had a near-death experience.
Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on but was thrown off.
The Monkeys
A man entered a pet shop to buy a monkey. The shop owner pointed to 3 identical looking monkeys on a perch and said,
“The monkey on the left costs 500 dollars.”
Question Time
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time. One little boy raises his hand and Bush asked,
“What is your name?”
A Blue Birthday Surprise
The wife wanted a new car and knowing her birthday was coming up shortly, she said to her husband,
“Buy me a surprise for my birthday!” she said, “Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds. I would prefer a blue one!”
What To Do
What To Do
SUPPORT=FUNNY
A Suspicious Politician
A politician was dating a film actress for a few months. He finally decided to marry. But being suspicious, he hired a private detective to look into her antecedents and find out if she had any previous affairs with men.
A Drunk Man
A drunk man walks into a bar. He seats on a stool and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely refuses the man and suggests getting a cab for him. The drunk is surprised. He climbs down of the barstool and staggers out of the bar.
