Summer Job
Please help her find job
admin
Chinese
– You can’t go more that five days without rice.
– You don’t have matching bedding.
– You don’t have matching dishes.
– You don’t have matching hangers in your closet.
– At least one person in your family owns or knows how to use a sewing machine.
– You never really bought a calendar in your life; you always got the free ones…
Pretty girl
Alright so this guy is in a bar and he sees a reasonably pretty girl. He says, “If I were to give you a million dollars right now, would you have sex with me?”
She thinks about it for a moment, then
Jokes to your email!
Pain
A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow …
Capitan’s Talk
Jewish and Chinese Pilots.
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain.
His copilot is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike….
Chrismass Jokes
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Follow your dream
Work hard to find your dream
Armenian
* You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping next year.
* Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
* You have a piano in your living room.
* You live with your parents and you are 30 years old.
* You always cook too much.
* You never discuss your love life with your parents.
* Your parents are never happy with your grades.
* You save your old Coke bo
Chameleon – When marker matches the teacher
When marker matches the teacher
Acronyms
A blonde texts her b/f saying that she doesn’t understand what IDK means, and wondering if he understood what it meant.
He replied back saying…
Worldwide Survey
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:”Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”
The survey was a huge failure…
In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant…
Questions and Answers
Teacher: Mike, go to the map and find South America.
Mike: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct.
Teacher: Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Mike!
Start shaving early
Old Gillette ads
