Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to HR and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with teddy bears.
A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight.
During the flight an attendant asked the cowboy if he would like a drink.
“Sure thing, I’ll have a beer, please.” said the cowboy.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No”, he replies, “I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”
“Like what?”
“Well … are you religious or atheist?”
“Religious.”
My psychotherapist once told me that I should write letters to the people that did me harm and then burn them. But what do I do with the letters?
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and orders a drink.
“It’s a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoff,” says the bartender.
“Just call me Hoff,” he replied.
“Sure,” said the bartender, “no hassle.”
Jane and Erica are talking in heaven
“How did you die?” Jane asks Erica.
She replies, “I froze to death.”
“Oh, that’s terrible!” says Jane.
“It wasn’t too bad, after a while you start to get a sort of peaceful feeling…
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