What you want from your friends
Teens: Someone who can drive
Twenties: Someone who has money
Thirties: Someone with ambition and connections
Forties: Someone who’s been through the wars, gets it
Real Life Jokes
Best User submited stories on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.
The Witty Employee
Yesterday my employer came running to me and heavily said, “I was looking for you all day! Where the hell have you been? I looked through all the office.”
I replied, “Good employees are hard to find.”
Jokes to your email!
A Short Funny Conversation
Two friends are speaking,
“Hitler really loved animals.”
You Just Wait
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you always procrastinate.”
I said, “Oh yeah… Just you wait.”
A Grocery Store
This man was very hungry. So he went to a 24-hour grocery store at the corner of the street. When he got there, a man was locking it.
“Hey, what are you doing?! There is a sign ‘open 24 hours’.”
The Starting Salary
Reaching the end of a job interview, the interviewer asks a young engineer,
“And what starting salary are you looking for?”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
During A Championship
A man was watching a football championship when somebody knocked on the door,
“Who is there?”
The Worried Housewife’s Story
The worried housewife took the telephone when it rang and heard,
“How are you, darling? What kind of a day are you having?” asked someone.
A Really Angry Wife
A man came to the grocery store. He took a jug of fine wine and a bouquet of flowers. He came to the cashdesk, but before paying, he set the wine and flowers and said,
“I’ll be right back.”
Contact Center
A company’s contact center had three phones. One day during lunch, an employee was responsible for answering all of them. It was a constant repeat of
“May I help you?” or “Will you hold?” and there was a surprise… This employee answered one man on the other end of the line with, “May I hold you?”
First Rendezvous
A guy finally managed to convince his secretary to go out with him. When they got into the car, wanted to fasten her seat belt and let out a loud fart.
“Excuse me. I hope will be just between the two of us.”
Keep Calm
A man was walking with his grandson in the supermarket. The boy was yelling all the time, telling he wants this candy, that juice, a bubble gum… He was running through the market like crazy.
On The Dentist’s Chair
A young lady went to her dentist. She sat on the dentist’s chair to get her tooth extracted. Seeing too many instruments she got frightened,
“Doctor, I would rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out.”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Warnings And Errors
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His wife nervously said,
“Don’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
A Drunken Guy
A drunken guy was staggering along the road, throwing empty beer cans into the street. His singing gained the attention of a passing policeman who decided to question him.
“What do you think you’re doing there?” the policeman asked.
