Woman
Jim was speeding along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Eric?” Jim asked. “Well didn’t you know, Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?”…
Kris was getting annoyed and shouted upstairs to his wife,” Hurry up or we’ll be late.”
“Oh, be quiet,” replied his wife. “Haven’t I been telling you for the last hour that I’ll be ready in a minute?”
Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby. When she was in the kitchen…
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low “elf” esteem!
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
…
– Люся, где ты вчера ночью была?
– По району гуляла.
– Он же не благополучный!
– Ещё какой благополучный ! Смотри: два айфона и золотая цепь!
Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud, president of Millers orders a Millers, and the president of Coors orders a Coors. ..
Объявление”Молодой электрик ищет свою электричку с серезными намерениями попасть домой”.
У меня соседи-психи. Ночь, почти 2 часа, стучат в потолок и по батареям. Хорошо еще, что я в это время не сплю, а на баяне играю.
Рабиновича покусала собака. Врач после обследования ему говорит:
– Должен вас огорчить. У вас бешенство.
Рабинович взял лист бумаги и начал быстро что-то писать. Врач говорит:
– Но завещание составлять не стоит! Мы вас вылечим.
– А кто сказал, что я пишу завещание? Я составляю список тех, кого мне нужно покусать!
Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: “I’ll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up.” When he returned he said: “I have a problem…
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