Дурацкие вопросы.
Едет мужик в лифте небоскреба, ехать скучно…Мужик спрашивает у лифтера:
– Наверное, у вас очень тяжелая работа?
– Да, сэр.
– А самое тяжелое в ваше работе, наверное, подьемы? …
10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can …
Exploring America
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, “I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.”
“Odd,” her companion replied, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”…
Новый командир
В часть был назначен новый командир. Принимая дела, он обнаружил, что его предшественник накопил целый архив бумаг. Новый командир запросил разрешение у вышестоящего…
Jokes to your email!
Cool ride
An attractive lady from Seattle was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. A local on horseback came along and offered her a ride to the nearest town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was pretty uneventful except that every few minutes the guy would let out a “Whoop”…
Hard working employees
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.”
Земля вертится!
Судя по походке россиян утром 1 января ,убеждаешься, что Земля вертится. И даже слишком.
Popular Jokes
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and jumps …
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Traveling under $50
Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a lawyer.
Профессионал!
Мужчина пришел устраиваться на работу. У него спрашивают:
-А вы выпить любитель?
-Нет,что вы? Я – профессионал.
Miss Piggy
Why can’t miss piggy count to seventy? Because every time she gets to 69 she get a little frog in her throat.
Hunting
Physicist, an engineer, and a statistician out hunting. The physicist calculates the trajectory using ballistic equations, but assumes no air resistance, so his shot falls 5 meters short…
Зарплата!
– Мама, а папа сегодня зарплату получил!
– Как ты догадался?
– Да он ванной зеркало бреет.
Elementary
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petri wine, they retire to their tent for the night.
At about 3 in the morning, Holmes wakes Watson up and asks, “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?”
Подарки на Рождество
-Что ты подарила мужу на Рождество?
-Голубую норку.
-А он тебе?
-Рыболовные снасти…
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Train ride
An old nun, a cute Swedish girl, an American guy, and a Frenchman are all in a train car. The train goes into a dark tunnel and all 4 hear a slap. When they emerge, no one says a word but the Frenchman has a red hand print across his face.
The nun thinks that the Frenchman groped the Swedish girl…
