Funny Babies
Some funny Baby Pictures
Чужой труд.
– Доча не сори, уважай чужой труд!
– Мама мне не чужая…
Penis
Have you heard the joke about my penis? Never mind, its too long…
The long con
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”…
Jokes to your email!
Лжеколодец
Прораб показывает заказчику объект-широченный колодец. Тот заглядывает в него:
– А зачем внизу лампа?
– Ну как? Всё как на чертеже – вот.
White House Urinator
Bill Clinton is looking out of the window of the oval office and he notices that someone has urinated the message, ‘BILL SUCKS!’ on a wall outside the White House….
Black sheep
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician travel together by train. Right after entering Scotland they see a black sheep standing on top of a hill.
“Look at that,” says the biologist. “Apparently…
Где клиенты?
– Почему у нас ни одного клиента?
– Может, вывеску поменяем?
– А какая у нас сейчас?
– “Закрыто”.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Best person in the world
Sleeping Beauty, Hercules and Don Juan are sitting around a table discussing who the best person in the world is. Sleeping Beauty claims that she is the best because she is the most beautiful person in the world. Hercules claims that he is the best because he is the strongest person in the world. Don Juan claims that he is the best because he has loved the most women in the world….
Traveling
A photon checks into a hotel. “Do you need help with your luggage?” the clerk asks.
“No thanks, I’m traveling light.”
Мелочь
Кассирша спрашивает у покупателя:
– Молодой человек, мелочь не посмотрите?
Покупатель:
– Ну… показывайте…
Smart People
A young boy had been taken for his first visit to a nudist camp by his parents. He was surprised at the different sizes of the male organs and mentioned it to his father. The father, being rather well endowed, explained that it was a measure of intelligence, the big ones being smart and the small ones being dumb.
That afternoon the father was looking for his wife and asked his son if he had se
Politics
‘Dad, what’s Politics?’
Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government…
Запорожец и мерседес
Запорожец паркуется рядом с мерсом.Хозяин мерса неодобрительно бурчит:
– Ездят тут всякие. Поцарапают хорошую тачку, и ничего с них потом не получишь.
Водитель запора радостно вступает в разговор:
Doctor checks
A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her cloths, the doctor notices a red ‘U’ on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to UCLA and he’s so proud of it he never takes off his UCLA sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup…
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Speeding
The policeman approaches the drivers door.
“Is there a problem, Officer?”
The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?”
The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”..
