An elderly man walks in to the famous restaurant Lucas Carton in Paris with his girlfriend. He orders a bottle of Rothschild Mouton 1928. The waiter returns with a full bottle of wine and fill up a small amount in a glass for tasting. The man barely smells the wine before putting the glass down and stating: “This is not a 1928 Mouton!”
Soon, almost 20 people are standing around the table…
A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedro
A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
-Александр, а что это у вас?
-Это часы, которые показывают, что сейчас происходит!
-Ну и что же они показывают?…
So a bus full of ugly people are driving along a cliffside, when suddenly a landslide knocks them off and they crash into the ocean. Everyone dies.
When they get up to heaven to meet their maker, he says, “Since you have suffered in your lives, I will grant you each one wish before you enter heaven.”…
-Милиция задержала того типа, что угнал мою машину. Надо навестить его в тюрьме.
-Зачем это тебе нужно?
-Как зачем?! Хотя бы узнать у него, как ему удалось ее завести!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd, “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, “Sure. Why not?”…
Fanny jokes and images directly to your inbox.
Daily Jokes to your inbox!
