Sexy kitten
Are you talking with me?
Yummy
Q: When is an apple a grouch?
A: When it’s a crab apple!
Q: What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet?
A: …
Слежка
-Почему ты за собой не следишь?
-А я себя ни в чем не подозреваю!
Jokes to your email!
Когда я умру
– Когда я умру, похороните меня вместе с моими друзьями…
– Зачем?
– Не было ещё такой ямы, из которой мы бы не выбрались!
My next door neighbor is an inconsiderate asshole.
My next-door neighbor is an inconsiderate asshole. He knocked on my door at 3 AM last night!! 3 AM!!
Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
Guinness World Records
3 guys walk into a bar
The first guy says “I have got the smallest arm in? the world”
The second guy “I have the smallest head in the world”
The third guy “I have got the smallest d*ck in the worl
Learn
Little Johnny comes home from Catholic school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, “Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?”
“But Dad,” said Johnny, “It wasn’t my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front …
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Fail Domain Names
Choosing the right domain name is important, some fail domain names
1) “Who Represents?” – a database for agencies to the rich and famous:
www.WhoRepresents.com -> www.WhorePresents.com
2) Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views:
Turnip
Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Quit stalking me!
Q: What did the salad say to the dressing?
A: …
В чате
Мужик в чате:
-Всем привет! Мне 30 лет, ищу новых друзей.
-А старые где?
-Нету.
-Почему?
-В пятницу вечером бутылку водки разбил…
Поголовная стрижка
В психбольнице намечается поголовная стрижка.
Психи обсуждают, как бы сломать машинку у парикмахера.
Один додумался:..
Adam and Eve new look
Vegans have been screwing us over from the very beginning. If Eve had eaten the snake and not the fruit we wouldn’t be in this mess.
Sleep is good
An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied,
“I’d like to have some birth control pills.”…
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Real sports
Boris Spassky was once asked by a reporter, “Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”. Spassky replied “It very much depends on the position”.
I rented this hooker
I think this image speaks for itself.
