Blonde vs Ming
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? ‘It’s ok Daddy, I’m not hurt.’
Rare kind
A married man, Jake wakes up with a huge hangover after a night out drinking with the boys. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did som
Tell Me How To Be Pretty
“Wow, you look GREAT in the your Thailand trip photos. Girl, tell me, how to become thin and pretty like this? Diet or what?”
“lol,thanks. First, you need a good photographer.”
“lolol. Then?”
“Th
1 cow power
Cows vs horse
Jokes to your email!
Ghost
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
A: Boo-berries
Боксёр и кулачок!
Боксер сдает кровь.
Медсестра, завязывая жгут:
– Так, работаем кулачком!
– По корпусу или в челюсть?
Ремонт ботинок
В сапожной мастерской.
-Мне обещали к сегодняшнему дню отремонтировать ботинки.
-Можете получить. Платите двести.
-Так мало? В квитанции написано, что ремонт стоит четыреста.
-Все правильно. Просто один ваш ботинок мы потеряли.
Машина
Жена – мужу:
– Купи мне машину, поездим по миру, посмотрим свет.
– Этот или тот?
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Saw a homeless man eating grass in the park
I asked him “Why are you eating grass?”
He said “I am very hungry”
I replied “Oh, okay then. Come with me.”
You should’ve seen his face when I showed him my backyard.
Don’t listen to strangers
Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says: “You know last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building- by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window.” The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.
The 2nd Man says: “What are you a nut? There is no way in heck that could happen.”…
job description info
‘Competitive Salary’ We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
‘Join our fast-paced company’ We have no time to train you.
‘Casual work atmosphere’ We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
‘Some overtime required’ Some every night and some every weekend.
‘Duties will vary’ Anyone in the office can bo
Farming
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
cat vs baby
Babies and cats on the same photo
Q and A Jokes
Q: Why did the people dance to the vegetable band?
A: Because it had a good beet
Q: What is green and goes to a summer camp?
A: ….
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Разговор хирургов
Разговаривают трое хирургов.
Первый:
– Удобнее всего оперировать библиотекарей: у них там все расположено в алфавитном порядке.
Второй:…
