Q. What does a wicked witch like to read in the newspaper?
A. Her horror scope!
Q. Why do dragons sleep all day?
A. So they can fight knights!
Q. Why was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player?
A. She had a pumpkin for a coach!
Q.Why did Cinderella get kicked off the baseball team?
A. She always ran away from the ball!
Q. Why were the giant’s fingers only eleven inches long?
A.
Jewish and Chinese Pilots.
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain.
His copilot is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike….
Dave: “Oh! That was when I went to Yale!”
Interviewer: “Amazing! You’re hired!”
Dave: “Hurray! I got a yob!”
* You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping next year.
* Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
* You have a piano in your living room.
* You live with your parents and you are 30 years old.
* You always cook too much.
* You never discuss your love life with your parents.
* Your parents are never happy with your grades.
* You save your old Coke bo
Травматология. Лежит мужчина, у него переломано все, что только возможно после серьезной аварии. Весь в гипсе, бинтах, растяжках. На тумбочке- пачка “Орбит”. Заходит доктор (обход). Оптимистично так:
-Ну что, больной, на поправочку? Уже и жвачечку жуем?
Больной (мрачно):
-При всей ерунде…(гримаса боли и 10-секундная пауза) нам только кариеса не хватало…
Объявление в метро: “Поезд дальше не идет. Просьба подтолкнуть вагоны”.
Судья(успокаивающе):
-Отсидите пожизненное заключение, а там увидим…
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
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