Only in America
1. Only in America…..can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America…
An Irish family lives on a farm
A poor Irish family lives on a farm and they rely on their single cow for income.
One morning, the father walks outside to find their cow dead.
“There is nothing that could help get us out of p
Did my fortune cookie just threaten me
Interesting cookie
George Washington
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
Adam: Because George still had the axe in his hand…
Jokes to your email!
Pepsi forever
Ahhhhh so cold!
Google Talk
Google Talk
DIY crazy cat lady
If you were wandering how to get started
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ukrainian
– Your car costs more than your college education
– Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been drinking or not
– Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn)
– Things you can’t live without include food…
Очень серьезное противопоказание!
-Ну как, тебе удалось вылечить зубы?
-Нет.Врач обнаружил у меня очень срезьёзное противопоказание.
-Какое?
-Отсутствие необходимой денежной суммы!
отец и сын
Пьяный отец просит сына – юриста:
– Если мама спросит тебя, сколько я выпил, то ты скажи ей, пожалуйста, что …
Сын:
– Врать я не буду! Однако, на основании существующих между нами родственных связей,
я имею право отказаться от дачи показаний.
А вода тёплая?
Юг. Море. Пляж. Муж медленно входит в воду.
Ж е н а: Как там вода – теплая?
М у ж: Градусов восемнадцать.
Ж е н а: Я тебя не спрашиваю, сколько там градусов!
Я говорю, вода теплая или холодная?
М у ж: Теплая.
Ж е н а: Да? А сколько градусов?
Мышка на хоре
Во время оперы на сцену перед женским хором выбежала мышка. Оглохли две тысячи любителей оперы.
Chameleon – When you dress up for the game
When you dress up for the game
Rules for Comma Usage
I went to the doctor’s recently. He told me, “Don’t eat anything fatty.”
Me: You mean like bacon and burgers?…
Doctor: No fatty. Don’t eat anything.
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Really Bad Jokes
Did you hear the one about the dessert that kept trying to jump off the table? It was a lemming meringue pie!
What goes tick tick woof woof? A watchdog.
What do you call a sheep without any legs? A cloud!
What do you call a Skoda on the top of a hill? A miracle!
What do you call …
Blonde on a plane!
A blond boarded a plane to Chicago. She was seated in the general passenger section. Once the airplane was in the air, she got up and went into first class and took a seat. The stewardess told her that unless she produced a first class ticket she had to return to the other section. The blonde refused and said I am going to Chicago and I am staying here…
