– (For females) You’re parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable
– (For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm
– You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
– When you were little you always wondered why your American friends…
Вовочка приходит в аптеку:
– Дайте мне упаковку презервативов!
– Во-первых, это не для детей, – отвечает аптекарь, – а во-вторых,
пусть придет папа и возьмет нужный размер…
Встречаются два старых знакомых.
На одном лица нет.
– Что с тобою? – спрашивает один.
– Страшная болезнь – мочусь по ночам! – отвечает другой….
После смерти русский и американец попали в ад.
Дьявол спрашивает их :
– В какои ад пойдёте, в русский или в американский?
– А какая разница?
– В американском надо съедать каждыи день по ведру говна, а в русском по два.
Американец выбрал американский, а русский подумал: “Всю жизнь в России прожил, чего уж менять?”
Через месяц встречаются. Русский спрашивает:
– Ну как у вас?
– Прекр
When your phone cases matches the world
COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman
Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.
A redneck’s father passed away in his sleep
So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away…
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop,someone asked,
“Where did you get that?”
The pig replied,
“I won her in a raffle!”
A golfer invited a minister, a doctor and an engineer to play golf at his club. After a few holes, one guest said “That foursome ahead of us is really slow. They’re all over the fairway, they’re in the rough, four-putting holes…couldn’t we ask to play through?”
The host replied “No, we don’t like to do that. Those guys are blind. They have a special pro who helps them line up shots, and our club lets them play free.”
Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more.
Her 8-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little bo
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