Конъюнктивит?
– Глаза покрасневшие, опухшие, жалобы на резь…
– Весенний конъюнктивит?
Кто плачет?
Две санитарки разговаривают в роддоме:
– Кто это так громко плачет? Не та ли тройня…
Средство от слонов
Едет в автобусе мужик. Отрывает от газеты маленькие кусочки и бросает их в окно. Соседу стало интересно, он спрашивает:
-Зачем вы рвете газету и бросаете обрывки в окно?
-Это отпугивает слонов…
-Но там нет слонов!
-Эффективное средство, не правда ли?
Jokes to your email!
предложение
– Дорогая, я хочу сделать тебе предложение…
Будь моей наследницей по закону первой очереди.
Врунишка
— Мама, все в школе говорят, что я врун!
Везде Я!
Мужик обкурился, стоит перед зеркалом:
— Здесь я и там я, здесь я и там я… Звонок в дверь:
Причина смерти – смех!
Встречаются два мужика на том свете:
– Ты как умер?
– Замерз. А ты как?
– От смеха умер.
– Это как?
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Perfect Match
Parrot prayers.
A lady comes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. She sees a beautiful one for an unusually low price and asks about it.
“Well, she’s got a foul mouth.” The owner says and then asks the parrot “Come on, Sarah, say something.”
“I’m Sarah and I want to be fucked hard all day and all night.”
Upstairs neighbor starter pack
Upstairs neighbor starter pack
She was a blonde
-she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
-she thought a quarterback was a refund
-she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order
-she thought meow mix was a record for cats
-under “education” on her job application,she put “Hooked On Phonics”
-she tried to drown a fish
-she tripped over a cordless phone
-she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said ‘concentrate’
-she pu
A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show. …
Little Johnny
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.
Johnny decides
Two men are walking their dogs
Two men are walking their dogs (a doberman and a chihuahua) when they see a restaurant.
They’re pretty hungry, do they decide to head in for a bite to eat. Unfortunately, they see a sign out front that says “NO DOGS ALLOWED”….
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Problem solving nowadays
How to solve a problem
