Learn Programming
Learn Programming
Elves make video games
Elves make video games
Once in Vegas
A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble and he loses all his money. He doesn't even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, "Get the fuck out of my cab!"
Profitable Gorilla
A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.
However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can't afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in store for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the zoo can afford a new one.
Jokes to your email!
Programming meme
Programming meme
Sleepless programmers
Sleepless programmers
Working from home
Working from home
Programmers be like
Programmers be like
SUPPORT=FUNNY
programmers
programmers
HTML is a programming language??!!?
HTML is a programming language??!!?
Gentle boyfriend
A girl went to Europe for 5 days with her friends.
She asked her boyfriend to watch her cat while she was gone. The first day she was gone, the cat was hit by a car and was killed. The first day she was gone she called and asked how her cat was doing. He didn’t want to ruin her vacation so he said the cat was fine.
cheap parrot
A woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks: “Why the last one is so cheap”?
“Because he used to live in a brothel”, says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.
Spaghetti
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
A farmer
A farmer was fed up with drivers speeding down the road where he lived, so he asked the police to put up a sign…
They put up a "Slow down, speed limit" sign – with no effect. Then, "Danger, road hazard!" sign was put up, but had no effect, either. Then the police tried a sign stating "Children crossing" – and still, nobody slowed down.
A drunk man
A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read.
The mother-in-law
A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"
He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
