Trump is captain of the RMS Titanic
There isn’t any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg.
A Picture of Me
My mom has a picture of me in her wallet.
And none of my siblings. She said that whenever she faces a problem, she looks at my picture and the problem disappears.
Christian Horse
A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. The horse’s owner said, “It’s easy to ride him. Just say ‘Praise the Lord!’ to make him go and ‘Amen!’ to make him stop.”
Three Little Old Nuns
Three little old nuns are attending a church service in Rome when, in a freak accident, a giant crucifix falls from the old plaster wall and kills them.
When they arrive at the Pearly Gates Saint Peter says, “I’m so sorry, Sisters, that was a freak accident and wasn’t supposed to happen.
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His Mistake
A king had 10 wild ferocious dogs. He used them to torture and kill any minister that misguided him. A minister once gave an opinion that was wrong and which the king didn’t like at all. So he ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs.
How did He Managed
A man was standing before the judge, being questioned over how did he managed
to run over 10 people while driving his truck, so the man answered:
If You are Stupid
Teacher: Everyone who thinks they are stupid, stand up.
After a while, Little Johnny stands up,
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Something Crazy
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks “If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?”
The bartender thinks for a minute and then says “It would to be something spectacular to take that offer.” The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, who is only 1 foot tall, and a little piano. The piano man starts playing classical music like Beethoven and Chopin.
On the Bus
A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle…
So she says to her baby
Lengthy but Brilliant
A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.
The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”.
Farmer’s Daughters are on Dates
There once was a farmer whose five quintuplet teenage daughters were going on dates at the same time.
“As soon as your dates arrive,” said the farmer, “I will talk to them personally. If I don’t like them, I will shoot them.”
I Was Just Having a Quiet Pint
I was just having a quiet pint by myself in a half-empty pub when some guy comes over.
“Would you mind moving, that’s my seat.”
Seeing as though I’d been there an hour, and there was plenty of other empty seats, I politely refused.
They Don’t Comment Their Code
Real programmers don’t comment their code! Because if it was hard to write then it must be hard to read
Two Sisters…
One blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
A butcher is at work…
A butcher is at work, chopping up some meat when he hears the door open.
He walks to the door and sees a golden retriever with a note in its mouth. The butcher, amused, grabs the note and reads it. The note says, “I’ll take a dozen sausage links. Keep the change.” The butcher scoffs and is about to throw the note away until he takes another…
A man enters an animal shop
A man enters an animal shop and sees a parrot with ropes tied to each of its legs…
The man asks the shopkeeper about the parrot and the shopkeeper replies:
