Porsche VS Moped
An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.
Looking at the shiny car, the old man asks the doctor “What is ya driving there sonny?
Teacher Is Asking To See You…
A young boy says to his father “Dad, our maths teacher is asking to see you.”
“What happened?” The father asks.
Magic Pool
A Frenchman, a German and an English man are standing before the gates of heaven.
God greets them and says: “You were all great and kind people. As a reward for being a good human, you may all swim in my magic pool” “The water will turn in anything you say”
Jokes to your email!
A Fox Is Chasing A Chicken…
A fox is chasing a chicken…
Suddenly the chicken trips over a vase, that was just laying on the ground. The vase breaks and a genie pops out and says: “You two freed me from my prison, I will grant you both 3 wishes as a reward!”
A Religious Joke
God, one day in heaven, lined up all of the married couples in the world and heaven he could find. He said to the men,
“My children, I have a task for you all. Those of you who feel that you are the head of the household, step to the left. Those of you who think your wife is the head of the household, step to the right.”
A Russian Joke
One day a Soviet Party member is walking through the Red square when he hears a man shout:
“down with the tyrant with the mustache.”
Inheritor
My friend Dave was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.
Dave wanted two things:
SUPPORT=FUNNY
A Man Is In A Bar Having A Drink
A man is in a bar having a drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks up the guy and sits him back on the barstool, and he falls off again. This time he picks the guy up and asks,
The Pope and Donald Trump
The Pope and Donald Trump are standing in front of a large crowd.
The Pope says to Trump, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Community Service Week
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
He Hasn’t Been To Church For A While
A man hasn’t been to church for a long while and decides he’d better go to confession before starting to go again. When he enters the confessional box he’s amazed to find that it’s got a bar lined with the finest whiskeys and a huge array of the finest cigars.
I Stepped On A Duck
Jack emigrates to a strange new country in search of a job.
When he arrives at the terminal, the customs officer gives him one piece of strange advice before he enters the country.
What They Wanted To Be
The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.
When it came to Johnny he said, “I want to be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. I’ll get me a bitch, and buy her a million-dollar apartment in Vegas, a Ferrari, a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, expensive jewelry and have sex with her 3 times a day.”
The Keys
Before leaving for a battle, King Arthur puts a strong iron chastity belt on his wife Guinevere and entrusts the key to his most loyal knight, Eddie. Then King Arthur departs.
Five minutes into his journey, King Arthur hears Eddie screaming for him to stop. King Arthur signals his steed to halt and waits for Eddie to catch up.
A Horse Auction
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father…
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
The First Meeting
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner…
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
