Facts
My older son looks exactly like me.
– That’s an example of a genetic factor.
All That Lies
My wife left me for another man.
All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seems the only way out. And while he’s going through all that, I’ll be in the pub with my mates every night.
Officers Are Talking
A Soviet officer and an American officer are talking over coffee at the end of World War II to celebrate their collaboration in the defeat of the Nazis. They start to banter and brag with each other.
Money From A Bank
An old lady wanted to withdraw money from a bank.
This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said: “I would like to withdraw £10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than £100, please use the ATM.
Jokes to your email!
The Hunter
There was a man named Temel who lived in a village near the black sea.
He was a hunter, one of the best. They said if there were a rabbit he would lay down and shoot and hit the animal immediately.
The Teacher Asks…
An international school teacher asks: “What’s your own honest opinion on food scarcity in other countries?”
An African student responds: What’s ‘food’?
In The Jungle
Two soldiers are walking through the jungle.
One of them yells out: “Ahhhhh!”. The other soldier turns to him and says: “What happened?!” as he sees a venomous snake leave the area.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
His Wife
A man cups his wife’s breasts.
He says “if you get these lifted, you won’t have any need for a bra”
A Horse For A Sale
A man once wanted to sell his horse for 1000$.
He went door to door to ask people if they would buy his horse. Only one person named George was willing to but it, but for only 500$. The man went home in despair.
An Old Lady Telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital
A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital
She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I can, what’s the name and room number?”
There Was A Man…
There was a man who took very good care of his body. Every day he lifted weights and jogged 6 miles.
One day, he looked in the mirror and noticed that he was tanned all over, apart from on his ‘thing’.
All The Females
Once all the females of the jungle went to the Lion, king of the Jungle.
They complained that the males always keep having sex with them and wouldn’t let them take rest.
In A Hospital
I went to the hospital to visit my friend who had an accident.
While waiting in the waiting room, I felt hungry so bought some juice and 2 burgers from the cafeteria.
Two Catholic Priests
Two Catholic Priests live on the opposite sides of town and pass each other on their bikes on the way to Sunday Mass.
One day, one of the priests was walking. So the other priest stopped.
A SMART Dog
A guy walks into a bar with his dog.
He says, “Hey, bartender, check this out. My dog can talk!”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
The Smile On His Face
My next-door neighbor is a 90 years old man suffering from Alzheimer’s.
Every morning at 9 AM he knocks on my door and asks me if I’ve seen his wife.
