An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him: “Daddy, what is sex?” The Dad was surprised that she would ask such a question but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.
“I’d like to be 8 again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed at home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed.
“Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.”
An old man and his wife went to their local restaurant. The man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the hamburger and cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. He called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked.
The doctor said he could see her in two weeks and meanwhile, there is a simple way the husband could check her hearing to give him some idea of the dimensions of the problem.
Three guys are drinking at a bar.
After several drinks, the first one gets up to leave. “Where do you think you’re going?” asked the others. He says, “Guys I’d love to stay but I have to cut myself off. The last time we got together, I was so drunk. When I got home, I blew chunks right on the living room floor in front of my wife and my in-laws.”
A dying man wants to prevent his family from inheriting his wealth. So he entrusts the money to his three closest friends: a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer.
He gives each friend an envelope with USD 1,000,000 in cash and makes them all swear to bury the money with him when he dies. They all shake hands and solemnly agree.
A restaurant has a challenge: “We will give USD 500 to any customer whose order we will not be able to fullfill”
One day, a man sees this sign and decides to take them up on it. So when gets seated, he tells the waitress that he wants an elephant testicle on rye bread.
A 55 years old lady suddenly started learning to swim instead of her usual routine of going to a temple !!!!
Everyone was curious and asked her: “why do you change your interests nowadays?”
A girl tells her mom she’s dating the guy next door.
The mom’s like “you can’t date him he could be your dad.”
A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks:
“Dry?”
A man and a woman had been married for more than 50 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had no secrets from each other except a box that the woman kept at the top of her closet. She had cautioned her husband never to open the box or ask about it.
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