Best Naughty Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convi
An elderly man walks in to the famous restaurant Lucas Carton in Paris with his girlfriend. He orders a bottle of Rothschild Mouton 1928. The waiter returns with a full bottle of wine and fill up a small amount in a glass for tasting. The man barely smells the wine before putting the glass down and stating: “This is not a 1928 Mouton!”
Soon, almost 20 people are standing around the table…
Bill Clinton is looking out of the window of the oval office and he notices that someone has urinated the message, ‘BILL SUCKS!’ on a wall outside the White House….
Sleeping Beauty, Hercules and Don Juan are sitting around a table discussing who the best person in the world is. Sleeping Beauty claims that she is the best because she is the most beautiful person in the world. Hercules claims that he is the best because he is the strongest person in the world. Don Juan claims that he is the best because he has loved the most women in the world….
A young boy had been taken for his first visit to a nudist camp by his parents. He was surprised at the different sizes of the male organs and mentioned it to his father. The father, being rather well endowed, explained that it was a measure of intelligence, the big ones being smart and the small ones being dumb.
That afternoon the father was looking for his wife and asked his son if he had se
A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her cloths, the doctor notices a red ‘U’ on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to UCLA and he’s so proud of it he never takes off his UCLA sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup…
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can …
An attractive lady from Seattle was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. A local on horseback came along and offered her a ride to the nearest town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was pretty uneventful except that every few minutes the guy would let out a “Whoop”…
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and jumps …
Why can’t miss piggy count to seventy? Because every time she gets to 69 she get a little frog in her throat.
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