He told the two women you can do anything you want here in heaven but please do not step on a duck because they make a terrible noise and racket.

The two women agreed and entered heaven. One day,

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it…

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge “This means that I cannot call

A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?” No one wants to say ‘yes’, but they’re on the spot…

Three men are trapped on an island inhabited by cannibals. Soon enough they get caught. the leader tells them to go out into the woods and pick ten of any fruit they find then come back. The first man comes back with ten apples. The leader says to him “If you can stick all ten apples up your ass without making and sound or facial expression then you will be set free…

While talking to girl

“Hey, I heard an interesting statistics the other day. They said that 80% of women satisfy their self in the shower. Do you know what the other 20% do?”

“No, what?”

“

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate w

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, “Where’s mom and dad?” to which she replied: “They’re up in bed.” The little boy started to giggle, ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, “Where’s mom and dad?” and she replied, “They’re still up in bed.” Again the little boy started to giggle, ate his lunch and went ou

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for… It is about time you became informed:

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?”

Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.

Man: So what happened that’s so horrible?

Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket

A teenager and his date were parked on a back road outside of town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads outside of town. Things were getting pretty serious when the girl stopped the boy and said “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a prostitute and I charge $100 for sex.”…