On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend..

So he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing. Dave didn't want to get in the man's way and just let him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.

A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a t-shirt saying, “Turks got 3 problems.”
As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.
Turks: you come in our country and have the balls to insult us.
Russian: that’s your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily…

A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”…

A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up

So, he opens the box and picks up the letter. He glances at it briefly to make sure it is stamped and then puts it in his bag with his other letters. When he gets back to his office, the letter goes in a big bin with all of the other out-going mail. He thinks nothing of it and finishes his day.

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
“Thank you, honey,” she says, “Is there anything I can bring back for you?”
He laughs, and says, “An Italian girl!”
When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, “How was the trip?”

A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble and he loses all his money. He doesn't even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, "Get the fuck out of my cab!"

A girl went to Europe for 5 days with her friends.
She asked her boyfriend to watch her cat while she was gone. The first day she was gone, the cat was hit by a car and was killed. The first day she was gone she called and asked how her cat was doing. He didn’t want to ruin her vacation so he said the cat was fine.

A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read.

I went to a pet shop and the owner said he had a talking centipede for sale.
I said ‘no way, centipedes don’t talk.’ The owner promised me it was a talking centipede so I purchased it and took it home with me. A little later in that evening I went up to its tank and said ‘alright mate, I’m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?’

One day when Jesus was relaxing in Heaven, He happened to notice a familiar-looking old man.
Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, “Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?”
“Yes,” said the old man, “but he wasn’t my biological son….

Dave’s bestie passed away recently, and grieving before his grave he said,
“Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?”
A month later, Dave’s wife…

My buddy and I were out for a walk and noticed this giant hole in a field…
We walked up to the hole and threw in a small rock; no sound; no signs of it hitting the bottom!
So we found a larger rock and threw it into the hole; no sound; no signs of it ever hitting the bottom.
My buddy notices a bunch of railroad ties along the forest line nearby…