A Horse Auction
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father…
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest.
Naughty Jokes
Best Naughty Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.
The Meatballs
There is a man who goes to a spanish restaurant after a big bullfight. He sits down and looks at the menu. The waiter then comes over and asks what he will have. The man once again looks down at the menu and spots “meatballs de toro”…
When I Was
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time, and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25…
That Stupid Question
A man works up courage to ask his wife how many sexual partners she had before him
She says “really?” and goes silent. Doesn’t say anything in the morning. Or afternoon. Or the next day. After 3 days, the husband approaches his wife and apologetically asks – “Why are you giving me the silent treatment? Are you mad at me for that stupid question?”
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The 7 Dwarfs Go to the Vatican
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
I Had No Idea
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner. The girl tells her boyfriend that she would like to “do it” for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic but he has never done it before so he goes to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for over an hour and tells the boy everything there is to know about protection.
We are more than friends now
One day at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin-tight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach the step.
On the Bus
A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle…
So she says to her baby
SUPPORT=FUNNY
The Most Beautiful Garden
A lady is walking to the store when the sees the most beautiful garden shes ever seen…
She askes the man watering his garden
The Female Teacher
A female teacher asking her students questions,
Teacher “what is in the sky and start with P”. One student said “plane”.
Twins
When I was about 9 years old, my father forced me to go with him to the funeral of a friend of his, that I didn't know.
When we got there, I stayed in a corner, waiting for time to pass by. Then a man approached me and said, "Enjoy life boy, be happy because time flies. Look at me now… I didn't enjoy it." He then passed his hand over my head and left.
Dad on His Death Bed
Dad on his death bed: Son, I have to tell you something
Son under his breath: I bet I’m adopted
Genie
Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes
Me: I wish for a world without lawyers
Genie: Done, you have no more wishes
A Secret Service Agent
The president is walking out of the White House towards his limo when a possible assassin steps forward and aims his gun.
A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts “Mickey Mouse!”
Am I adopted?
Fred came home from University in tears.
“Mum, am I adopted?”
“No of course not”, replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing?
Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of the city….
A Gentleman and the Pope
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
