Fridays
A guy dies and the first thing he sees is a man with horns.
Man: “Oh no I didn’t make it into heaven?”
Naughty Jokes
Best Naughty Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.
Drunk One Night
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber… He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ‘You died in your sleep, Bob….’ Bob was stunned. ‘I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’
It’s Raining Out There
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
Chocolate and Viagra
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital.
“How are you grandpa?” he asks.
Jokes to your email!
I Must Warn You
A young woman goes to the hospital to have her baby. No husband or boyfriend is present. The woman has her baby and then the nurse comes in and says,
“I must warn you your baby is black.” The woman says
That Uniform
A policeman goes home in the evening after work. Exhausted, he enters the dark bedroom and strips out of his uniform, leaving it on the floor.
He looks for the light switch but figures his wife is lying in bed and decides not to disturb her. Just before he’s about to get into bed, his wife speaks:
An Angry Man Walked Into A Bar
An angry man walked into a bar, holding a gun in his hand, and shouted, “who slept with my wife?”
The bartender whispered to him, “Calm down man. I don’t think you have enough bullets in your gun.”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
At An Expensive Restaurant
A guy invites his crush to an expensive restaurant for a dinner:
The guy: So let’s go to my place next.
Monday’s The Best Night
A couple takes in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire…
His Wife
A man cups his wife’s breasts.
He says “if you get these lifted, you won’t have any need for a bra”
There Was A Man…
There was a man who took very good care of his body. Every day he lifted weights and jogged 6 miles.
One day, he looked in the mirror and noticed that he was tanned all over, apart from on his ‘thing’.
All The Females
Once all the females of the jungle went to the Lion, king of the Jungle.
They complained that the males always keep having sex with them and wouldn’t let them take rest.
Two guys get called up for military service
Two guys get called up for military service.
Coincidentally, they both live in the same street so they share a ride.
Caught in a Wind Storm
“A policeman noticed an old lady standing on a street corner during a sudden windstorm.
She was bracing herself by holding a light post with one hand, and she was holding her hat snugly against her head with her other hand. Unfortunately, a strong gust blew her dress upward, and it continued to flap in the wind, exposing her privates for everyone to see.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Keep your distance!
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to HR and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
Why give their jackets?
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth
