One day there was a gay guy, a robber, and a drunk. They were living their life and one day the gay guy did his deed and poof… he is gone. Then the robber goes and robs a bank and poof… he’s gone. Then the drunk gets drunk at a bar and poof… he’s gone.

A man married a woman who had been married five times.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled man. “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?”

“Well, my first husband was a sales specialist, he kept telling me how great it was going to be…

Two men were camping in the mountains, They spent four days together. One morning, one of them says,

“We’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Let’s split up today. I’ll hike north and you’ll hike south. Then we’ll have supper and share our experiences.”

A very handsome and tall man got married to a little woman. One day he was walking with his wife when he met one of his classmates.

“Oh, you got married to her? I’m surprised, You are such a big, burly guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny woman? She is no bigger than your hand.”

A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat.

They’d spend the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.”

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress. Are chatting over lunch and the conversation turns to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men. All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, heels, and a mask over their eyes.

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said,

“Here, put these on.”

On a golf course, a woman was learning how to play golf, and in one attempt she fired a violent shot and realized that the ball hit a man who was nearby. He bends forward, squeezing his hands between his legs and moaning in pain. She immediately runs to him to apologize.

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 years old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,

A Finn, Swede, and Norwegian were on a plane. The pilot announced: “Too much weight! Too much weight!”
Long
The Norwegian dropped an orange off the plane. The pilot repeated: “Too much weight! Too much weight!”