A guy dies and the first thing he sees is a man with horns.

Man: “Oh no I didn’t make it into heaven?”

Satan: “No you didn’t, but hell isn’t that bad!”

Man: “How so?”

Satan: “Well do you like to drink?”

Man: “yes I love drinking!”

Satan: “Well on Monday’s we drink! Wine, beer, liquor whatever you like. Do you like to smoke?”

Man: “I was a heavy smoker!”

Satan: “Well on Tuesday’s we smoke! Pipes, cigars, cigarettes the choice is yours. Do you like gambling?”

Man: “Of course I like gambling!”

Satan: “Well on Wednesday’s we gamble. Blackjack, poker, baccarat whatever you prefer! Do you like drugs?”

Man: “I love drugs!”

Satan: “Well on Thursday’s we do drugs! Meth, heroin, cocaine, pot who cares, and you’re already dead so it won’t even hurt you! And you’re gay right?”

Man: “No? I’m straight as an arrow, I like women!”

Satan: “Oh, well you probably won’t be enjoying Fridays”