One time when I was six, I was in Walmart and I was eating a tube of Pringles.

And I ate them while my mom paid, but I forgot to let the guy scan my Pringles so I walked to the door and an alarm went off and I just started running because I got scared and then my mom couldn’t find me, because I was hiding behind the newspapers and the Walmart people called the police, because I was missing and when I heard them show up I thought I was a criminal so I left my mom a note on the newspaper:

“I went to Mexico to start a new life, don’t look for me.”

Then I took off running with my Pringles for about an hour. Then the cops saw me walking down the street, so they pulled over and I started running again. They started to use cars and told me to stop running.

When I stopped I thought they are going to put me in handcuffs and take me to jail, so I started to cry again, then I slapped the officer and tried to run again, but he just held me.

When he asked what happened to me I told him and he started crying, he was laughing so hard.

That was the time I was a wanted criminal.