My best friend Matt and I were captured by wild Indians.

We pleaded and begged them to let us go.

They finally conceited to allow Mat to take three trials. Ahead of us were three tepees. The chief told us the first had five barrels of firewater Matt must drink.
The second had a grizzly bear with a wicked toothache, Mat must pull its bad tooth.
The third tepee had a squaw that no man could please, Mat must pleasure her.

Matt shaking like a leaf headed toward the first tepee. After about 10-15 minutes he came stumbling out almost puking on the way to the second tepee. Upon entering there was a wild roar followed by the tepee shaking. The bears screams slowly faded away and the night went quiet. Mat in all of his drunkenness limped out of the tepee collapsing just outside. He wobbled to his feet and proudly asked.

“Alright now, where’s that squaw with the toothache!?”