A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.

Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.

One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you’re having. It only costs $20.00.”

A fifteen years old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

A guy is constantly suffering from terrible headaches. He goes to a bunch of doctors, runs any test imaginable, and no one can figure out why. One day a doctor tells him- “I think we figured out a solution, but you’re not going to like it. If we cut off your balls, the constant headache will stop”. The guy was shocked, but he didn’t want to continue the torture, so he agreed.

A guy is driving around the backwoods and he sees a sign in front of a broken-down, shanty-style house: Talking Dog For Sale. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says: “Let me show you around a little bit.” They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. “This is your house now, here are your keys.” The man is happy and thanks to the devil. The devil says: “No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!”

A‌‌n America‌‌n soldier‌‌, serving‌‌ in World Wa‌‌r I‌‌I ha‌‌d jus‌‌t returne‌‌d fro‌‌m severa‌‌l week‌‌s o‌‌f battl‌‌e o‌‌n th‌‌e Germa‌‌n fron‌‌t lines.

Th‌‌e soldie‌‌r ha‌‌d bee‌‌n grante‌‌d res‌‌t an‌‌d relaxatio‌‌n an‌‌d wa‌‌s o‌‌n ‌‌a trai‌‌n tha‌‌t wa‌‌s boun‌‌d fo‌‌r London.

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution “This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before”.

So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he’s about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly “mmm… that was some good lion meat!”.

A fox is chasing a chicken…

Suddenly the chicken trips over a vase, that was just laying on the ground. The vase breaks and a genie pops out and says: “You two freed me from my prison, I will grant you both 3 wishes as a reward!”

God, one day in heaven, lined up all of the married couples in the world and heaven he could find. He said to the men,

“My children, I have a task for you all. Those of you who feel that you are the head of the household, step to the left. Those of you who think your wife is the head of the household, step to the right.”

A man hasn’t been to church for a long while and decides he’d better go to confession before starting to go again. When he enters the confessional box he’s amazed to find that it’s got a bar lined with the finest whiskeys and a huge array of the finest cigars.