This Is A Library
A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger.
The librarian says, “This is a library.”
Funny Stories
Short Funny Stories From Real Life That Will Crack You Up
In A Hairsalon
A man came to a hairdresser. He showed to the hairdresser with gestures that he was deaf and mute.
Fortunately, the hairdresser knew a few gestures in sign language. And started to communicate with the man.
The Most Interesting Thing
Today I got a strong urge to buy my wife flowers.
She accepted them with tears in her eyes saying,
Jokes to your email!
On The Train
A guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his girlfriend from his wallet and said,
“She’s beautiful isn’t she?”
Lecture About Alcohol
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 A.M. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies,
“I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”
The Physical Therapist
A man goes to his physical therapist.
“What complaints do you have?” asks the therapist.
On Opposite Sides Of A River
Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other,
“I need your help to get to the other side!”
Einstein, Newton, And Pascal
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.
Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter aside. Einstein says
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Multitasking
My wife told me women can multitask better than men.
I told her, “No they can’t and I can prove it.” she said, “OK prove it.”
How Were People Born?
A child asked his father: How were people born?
His father replied: Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.
Who Should Let You First?
A man asks his friend, “If your wife is shouting at the front door, and your dog is barking at the back door, who should let you first?”
The friend answers, “The dog, of course. At least he will be quiet after you let him in.”
Lost Dollars
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was that old man who lost a hundred dollar bill…
While I Was Working
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set.
“If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”
A Time Machine
A man gets sent to kill Hitler with a time machine.
He enters inside the machine, gets cheered by his colleagues. Since the mission is very dangerous, he’s gonna be a national hero!
Guess Who Was
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
Three Friends Marry
Three friends got married. One day they met and started to talk about their marriage.
The first one started, “I told my wife that I want the house to be clean and tidy when I come home from work. I didn’t see changes on the first day, but on the second day, the house was clean and tidy.”
