Two men of which one had a really bad stutter decided to climb Everest. They set up at the bottom, waved to everyone who came to wish them luck, and started climbing… Around 8 hours of exhausting climbing later the one with the stutter goes,

Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, “My son is a home builder and he”s so successful that he gave a friend a new home – for free.”

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: some milk, eggs, orange juice, coffee, bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer.

“Look, I’ll give you 200 dollars if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to love, honor and obey and forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever, I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.”

A math professor has a problem with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, “How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck.” But he pays it anyway.

A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.”

A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise, I would have died without it.”

The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced,

“A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars. If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!”

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 A.M. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 A.M. The trip to the doctor’s office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare.

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?