Classic Jokes

Best Classic Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.

In The Bus

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said:

“That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

Selling Bibles

Three men go out selling Bibles to raise money for their church. At the end of the day, the three meet up to discuss their success.

First was proud to say that he sold 5 Bibles and made 50 dollars for the church.

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A City Man Visits The Farm

A farmer’s sister and her husband come to visit him from the city. After unpacking the husband asks the farmer what he is planning to do.

“Wait,” the husband says let me guess, “You are going to jump in your tractor turn on the radio, and cruise around all day.

Three Bulls

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.

First Bull: “I’ve been here five years. I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows.”

Not Much

An old man was eating some breakfast at a diner when three bikers walked in.

The first biker puts out his cigarette in the old man’s pancakes.

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At The Airplane

The engine on the airplane sputters to a stop.
The captain comes over the intercom.

“Attention passengers we’ve had a minor problem with one of our engines, but we have three more and will only be a little late arriving at our destination”.

Thank You

An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her Sons-in-law.

One day she was walking along a lakeshore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help. The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out onto the shore. The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes on his doorsteps with the words “Thank you!!! Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much.!!!”

A Really Loving Couple

A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she requested him to shave his beard.

“Oh Martin, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.”

Adam and Eve

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

A Wife Is Missing

A man goes to a police station… “My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home…”

Sergeant at Police Station: “What is her height?”

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Three Rich Guys

Three rich guys bury a friend.

First throws a thousand bucks into the coffin, saying “I want you to never need anything in the next life”.