The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with teddy bears.

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

There is a beer in front of him. A macho, muscular man enters the pub, taps him on the shoulder and drinks his beer! The skinny man starts crying. The big man:

– Oh, stop crying, baby. That’s just one beer…

Two English gentlemen are commuters, using the Tube to the City. They get on and off at the same stations, and having done it for years they occasionally nod greetings or even exchange a “good morning.”

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place…

The first guy, “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

A little boy is being called bastard and bitch by bullies at his school.

The boy goes home and asks, “Dad, what are bastards and bitches?” And his dad replies, “Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen.”

Scientists were finally able to invent a robot that could answer any question.

Paul decided to test the robot as his friends told him about it and he believed that such a robot could not possibly be created.

A chauffeur goes to pick up the Pope.

Upon arrival, the Pope tells the chauffeur that he never gets to drive anymore and pleads with him to let him behind the wheel for a little while. Being a good catholic boy, he accepts the Pope’s request and takes a seat in the back of the car.

Three thieves were in a house when suddenly they heard someone came through the door. In a hurry to hide as soon as possible, each finds a gunny sack to hide inside.

When the owner comes in and finds three unfamiliar sacks, he kicks the first one, the thief inside thinks quick and makes a sound similar to grains being moved. The owner moves to the second and kicks it, this one makes the sound of walnuts being banged together. The owner, almost relaxed now, kicks the third sack, which doesn’t make any sound. A bit surprised he kicks it again and again and again harder each time, till finally the angry thieve inside yells out:

The KGB, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals.

So the Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

A man named Stanley died in a fire accident and his body was burned badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body.

So they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Jim and Allen. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp. Jim arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Jim said,

So this guy’s in bed with a married woman when her husband’s car gets home

She brings the guy, completely naked, into the living room and tells him to stand completely still as she covers him in white powder.