In The Shopping Mall
My small grandson got lost in the shopping mall…
He approached a uniformed security guard and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”
Classic Jokes
Best Classic Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.
The Marine
The United States was deployed to Afghanistan. While the Marine was there he received a “dear John” letter from his girlfriend.
In the letter she explained she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.
Bless you son
A small boy talking to his mother while his dad sits nearby.
Boy: Mom, I want to marry 3 girls when I grow up.
Facts
My older son looks exactly like me.
– That’s an example of a genetic factor.
Jokes to your email!
All That Lies
My wife left me for another man.
All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seems the only way out. And while he’s going through all that, I’ll be in the pub with my mates every night.
Officers Are Talking
A Soviet officer and an American officer are talking over coffee at the end of World War II to celebrate their collaboration in the defeat of the Nazis. They start to banter and brag with each other.
The Hunter
There was a man named Temel who lived in a village near the black sea.
He was a hunter, one of the best. They said if there were a rabbit he would lay down and shoot and hit the animal immediately.
In The Jungle
Two soldiers are walking through the jungle.
One of them yells out: “Ahhhhh!”. The other soldier turns to him and says: “What happened?!” as he sees a venomous snake leave the area.
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Two Catholic Priests
Two Catholic Priests live on the opposite sides of town and pass each other on their bikes on the way to Sunday Mass.
One day, one of the priests was walking. So the other priest stopped.
I Am Sick
Once I was traveling from Mumbai to Singapore. A woman sitting next seat continued looking at me. I understood that this lady had never seen a Sikh person before.
Midway in the flight when the tea and snacks were served, I struck a conversation with the lady.
A Priest And A Nun
A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard.
They find a deserted cabin and take shelter. They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets. The priest, being a gentleman offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself.
In A Supermarket
A man went into a supermarket asking to buy half a cauliflower.
The young greens produce assistant told him that they sold only whole cauliflowers.
Two Guys Are In A Hospital
Two guys sat in their hospital beds having a little chat.
Wanna bet?
A horrible accident happened last week while I was replacing the windows at the top of a skyscraper
I went up the skyscraper with 2 of my colleagues and it was going great at first. After about an hour I heard an awful scream and I saw one guy falling down and hitting the pavement. It was Robert Steinberg. He was dead on impact, nothing we could’ve done.
Waiting for election
Waiting for election is strong feeling
Cashier Prediction
A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs.
Cashier: “You must be single”
The man: “Wow how did you know that?”
Cashier: “Because you’re fucking ugly”
